Trust

My grandfather started ranching at the age of 16. He raised a family, children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren on that ranch. In the 80's he and my uncle traveled by train (my grandfather didn't trust airplanes) to Minnesota to purchase two army trucks. He wrote a personal cheque for thirty thousand dollars, which seemed a lot at the time. The truck dealer didn't know my grandfather and wasn't sure his cheque was good. He called the bank and spoke directly with the bank manager who said; "buddy, that guy's cheque is better than cash." Why you might ask? Because his name was on it. My grandfather didn't tell me that story, my uncle did. I haven't forgotten the lesson on trust and integrity, neither has my uncle. My grandfather had no idea he was teaching a lesson. A man of few words, he led from the inside out, his character was everything to him.

We rarely write a personal cheque. Most don't know the bank manager and even if we did, they probably don't know us. Yet trust remains the single most important factor in all relationships. In business we tend to think respect is more important. We use titles and letters after our name to help identify us and note experience. There are so many letter variations today, it's a struggle figuring out what they represent. Respect can sometimes get to trust faster (such as, when you need a doctor it may be helpful to know if he/she is a medical doctor or a vet, which affects trust). Trust is still more important because, generally, you don't have one without the other.

Science is getting much better at understanding our chemistry. The neuroscience of trust has found that oxytocin, the "love hormone", plays an important role. Oxytocin reduces the fear of trusting. Stress and anxiety, both on the rise in the workplace, interfere with the normal production of oxytocin. Women and men respond differently to stress and anxiety. Women tend to produce more oxytocin, men more testosterone. Cortisol, a stress hormone, messes with the production of both testosterone and oxytocin hampering attempts to manage stress. (Zak, 2012)

Some may say "so what, stress isn't new". This is true, except today's climate feels more uncertain, less predictable and more unsettled for a lot of people. With the internet, we are more aware than ever. Lack of trust is a very big issue in human growth, productivity and affects our ability to connect and form relationships. Researchers have found that when participants felt trusted they produced more oxytocin when they were shown increased levels of trust, they produced even more oxytocin. (headheartbrain.com)

One of the many benefits of being a coach is the opportunity to be coached by other coaches. We help each other. Developing a keen self-awareness has become an added benefit. Trust is the most important factor, but what is often ignored, is our relationship with ourselves and the role trust plays with internal dialogue . Confidence in Latin literally meant to trust or have faith in. Our inner world directly affects our outer world. Thoughts, beliefs and emotions, whether we are aware of them or not, affect our chemistry, which in turn impacts us and everyone around us. Trust, the ability to produce oxytocin, calms fear and allows one to feel safe and create safe environments. When we feel safe, we are willing to take more risk, which means we grow more.

"..the most important factor in determining whether or not a society does well or remains impoverished is not natural resources, education, quality health care, or even the work ethic of its people. What matters most in determining economic outcomes is actually trustworthiness—a moral consideration." The Moral Molecule: How Trust Works ——Paul J. Zak, 2012.

Lurinda Rinehart

LifeStrong Consulting - Higher Results Faster

The Coaching Professionals